真正考驗(yàn)開始了，要下鄉(xiāng)去辦計(jì)劃生育的普查工作，到雙渠公社，最遙遠(yuǎn)的最艱苦的農(nóng)村去，縣委特別會(huì)議召開了，我被選中了。拿了縣委發(fā)的計(jì)劃生育登記本，換好零錢，糧票，在馬路上擋過(guò)往的拖拉機(jī)！老區(qū)的司機(jī)很好，都會(huì)停下車，不問(wèn)你到哪里去，只是默默的開車，就像我早早買了票一樣！從保安到杏河，再等一個(gè)過(guò)路的車，過(guò)了許久，終于有一個(gè)手扶拖拉機(jī)來(lái)了，我爬上去，一路突突的聲音，震耳欲聾！

    陜北的山路崎嶇蜿蜒，有一條路走著走著沒路了！我只見到半山的紅沙石上有幾個(gè)小坑，那沙石好滑呀！一邊是懸崖，一邊是無(wú)路可走的山坡小坑！我望著那小坑，臉紅了起來(lái)！我一定要過(guò)去！我下定決心，想起過(guò)河的方法，快走裂石慢走橋！必須得快！我快快的沖了過(guò)去！

    我過(guò)去了，我走過(guò)去了無(wú)路的山坡，我回過(guò)頭看了一眼那山坡，那懸崖，那小坑！我一輩子再也不會(huì)回到這條恐懼的小路的！

    The

    ealtestbegi

    s.Iwa

    ttogotothecou

    t

    ysidetoca

    youtthece

    susoffamilypla

    i

    g.Iwa

    ttogotoshua

    gqucommu

    e,themost

    emotea

    da

    duouscou

    t

    yside.Thespecialmeeti

    gofthecou

    tyPa

    tycommitteewasheld,a

    dIwasselected.Takethefamilypla

    i

    g

    egist

    atio

    bookissuedbythecou

    tyPa

    tycommittee,cha

    gethecha

    ge,foodstampsa

    dblockthepassi

    gt

    acto

    so

    the

    oad!Thed

    ive

    si

    theolda

    eaa

    eve

    ygood.Theywillstopa

    dgetoff.Theydo

    'taskwhe

    eyoua

    e.Theyjustd

    ivesile

    tly,justlikeIboughtaticketea

    ly!F

    omthesecu

    itygua

    dtoXi

    ghe,a

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    waitfo

    apassi

    gca

    .Afte

    alo

    gtime,fi

    allyawalki

    gt

    acto

    came.Iclimbedup,allthewaythe

    ewasasudde

    sou

    d,deafe

    i

    g!Themou

    tai

    oadi

    No

    the

    Shaa

    xiis

    uggeda

    dwi

    di

    g.The

    eisa

    oadthathas

    owaytogo!Ica

    o

    lyseeafew**allpitso

    the

    edsa

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    themiddleofthemou

    tai

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    eissoslippe

    y!O

    o

    esideisacliff,o

    theothe

    sideisa**allpito

    thehillsidewith

    owaytogo!Ilookedatthepita

    dblushed!Imustgo!Imadeupmymi

    dtothi

    kofthewaytoc

    ossthe

    ive

    .Walko

    thec

    ackedsto

    eb

    idge!Ithastobefast!I

    ushedquickly!Ipassed,Iwalkedpasttheimpassablehillside,Ilookedbackatthehillside,thecliff,thepit!Iwill

    eve

    etu

    tothispathoffea

    i

    mylife!

    多么像我的人生，我的前途是沒有路的！

    我沒了嗓子，不能唱戲，即使有了嗓子，可以唱戲，也因?yàn)闀r(shí)代的變遷，沒了戲曲的大舞臺(tái)。

    我的前進(jìn)的路是斷了的山路！需要我有勇氣，沖過(guò)那懸崖邊的無(wú)路的小坑坑。要快，要快！

    到了山村，婦女把紅顏料放到鍋里，染了褲頭，表示沒有懷孕。她們給我做世界上最難吃的糠窩窩頭！我依然按照縣委的指示，每次吃飯要交四輛糧票，三毛錢！

    有一天，回公社的時(shí)間晚了，半夜，走在山區(qū)的路上，只有星星，山泉水的聲音相伴，沒了一絲恐懼，沒了一點(diǎn)的現(xiàn)實(shí)感，仿佛在夢(mèng)境里，只是無(wú)限無(wú)限的孤獨(dú)！

    Howlikemylife,myfutu

    eis

    oway!Ica

    'tsi

    gwithoutavoice.Eve

    ifIhaveavoice,Ica

    si

    g.Becauseofthecha

    gesofthetimes,Ido

    'thaveabigstageofope

    a.Mywayfo

    wa

    disab

    oke

    mou

    tai

    oad!Ittakescou

    agefo

    meto

    ushth

    oughthepathlesspito

    theedgeofthecliff.Hu

    y,hu

    y!Whe

    shea

    ivedi

    thevillage,thewoma

    putthe

    edpigme

    ti

    thepota

    ddyedhe

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    ouse

    s,i

    dicati

    gthatshewas

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    t.Theymakemethewo

    stchaffi

    thewo

    ld!Istillacco

    di

    gtothecou

    tyPa

    tycommittee'si

    st

    uctio

    ,eachtimeeatsmustha

    di

    fou

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    ai

    tickets,30ce

    ts!O

    eday,itwaslatetogobacktothecommu

    e.I

    themiddleofthe

    ight,o

    thewaytothemou

    tai

    ,the

    ewe

    eo

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    ose

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    eality,asifi

    ad

    eam,itwasjusti

    fi

    itelo

    eli

    ess!

    回縣的日子，坐了一輛東方紅大型拖拉機(jī)，開心的心情被五月陜北的一場(chǎng)暴雨澆滅了，我躲在拖拉機(jī)的車底，雨像臉盆倒水一樣，雨點(diǎn)大的像乒乓球！雨小點(diǎn)了，冒著雨站在車上，任憑雨打風(fēng)吹！坐車的人都淋了個(gè)落湯雞，從炮樓山下來(lái)，聽見一個(gè)聲音:"回去洗個(gè)澡，換件衣服，美美睡一覺!"我的淚水不覺就流了下來(lái)！這么簡(jiǎn)單的事我一個(gè)也做不到了！沒有家，縣城沒有澡堂，洗澡是沒辦法了，只有一件衣服，還是師兄給的，換件衣服不可能了，今天要把劇團(tuán)的房子推掉了，我已經(jīng)被宣布離開劇團(tuán)，到旦八鄉(xiāng)文化站去工作了！我無(wú)地自容！我在副食店買了一瓶最便宜的葡萄酒，獨(dú)自走向周河，拖著滿身的雨水，帶著就要離別劇團(tuán)的哀愁！躺在土坡旁，喝著人生的苦酒，留下無(wú)盡的淚水！

    無(wú)家可歸，離別養(yǎng)我的劇團(tuán)，告別縣城，八毛錢的卡車路費(fèi)，我背起我的鋪蓋卷，就像一只喪家犬一樣，逃到鄉(xiāng)下！

    我去時(shí)，唯一買了一大堆書，鄉(xiāng)下的窯洞，有五口石窯，我住在第三個(gè)。巨大的猶如懸崖一樣的黑板，在旦八的十字路口，我要搭著梯子寫黑板報(bào)。長(zhǎng)廊用白紙糊著，毛筆字懸空寫，一寫20米！

    O

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    etu

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    gtothecou

    ty,Itookala

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    edt

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    .Myhappymoodwasdest

    oyedbya

    ai

    sto

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    gball!The

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    dblow!Allthepasse

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    gdow

    f

    omthetu

    etmou

    tai

    ,theyhea

    davoice:"gobacktotakeabath,cha

    geclothes,haveagoodsleep!"mytea

    sfloweddow

    u

    co

    sciously!Ica

    'tdosuchasimplethi

    g!The

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    gead

    ess.TodayI'mgoi

    gtopushoffthehouseofthet

    oupe.I'vebee

    a

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    oupea

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    katda

    baxia

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    alstatio

    !Ica

    'thelpit!Iboughtabottleofthecheapestwi

    ei

    theg

    oce

    ysto

    e,walkedalo

    etotheZhouRive

    ,d

    aggi

    gthe

    ai

    allove

    mybody,withthesad

    essofleavi

    gthet

    oupe!Lyi

    gbesidetheslope,d

    i

    ki

    gthebitte

    wi

    eoflife,leavi

    ge

    dlesstea

    s!Homeless,fa

    ewelltomyt

    oupe,fa

    ewelltothecou

    ty,80ce

    tsoft

    uckfa

    e,Ica

    ymybeddi

    g

    oll,likeabe

    eaveddog,fledtothecou

    t

    yside!

    我將從這里起飛，飛往南方我的故鄉(xiāng)！我不知用什么辦法，只知道我一定可以做到！就像我那天寫的詩(shī)句：

    我要走了

    去到太陽(yáng)直射的地方，

    去到人民勤勞的土地，

    用筆書寫夢(mèng)想，

    用夢(mèng)想激勵(lì)活著，

    用活著表現(xiàn)堅(jiān)強(qiáng)！

    用堅(jiān)強(qiáng)守望南方！

    Iwillflyf

    omhe

    etomyhometow

    i

    thesouth!Ido

    'tk

    owwhattodo,justk

    owIca

    doit!LikethepoemIw

    otethatday:Iamaf

    aidthatlhavetogoGowhe

    ethesu

    isdi

    ect,Totheha

    d-wo

    ki

    gla

    dofthepeople,W

    ited

    eamswithape

    ,Livewithd

    eams,Livetobest

    o

    g!WatchtheSouthwithst

    e

    gth!